Douchebag of The Year 2011

I almost wasn’t going to do this post. For starters, the word “douchebag” is being used more than ever. The more people use it as a put-down slang, the more silly it sounds. I admit it’s an immature way of describing people. Maybe because 2011 was a banner year for douchebaggery. Eh.

Where do I begin? Considering the past year had so many choices, all which nearly cemented my misanthropy even more. Almost.

For what I can see, 2012 already has a few candidates. Despite wishful thinking, it looks like 2012 just might continue where 2011 left off. We’ll see.

Anyway, back to some of the candidates for this ever-prestigious title. Who can forget Charlie Sheen? Who can forget his winning formula of tiger blood and goddesses? What cancels him out though was he supplied enough comic material to keep us running for the first half of 2011.Winning!

Jersey Shore. Could it be that they just might snag the honor for the second year in a row? Nah. Just let them burn themselves out, and eventually they’ll all wind up in your local AA meeting. Unless one of the cast members really needs the moolah. My bet is on Situation. Can’t you just see him on a program such as “Celebrity Rehab,” milking his 15 minutes for all its worth? Don’t even get me started on Snookie.

Then there’s these politicians vying for the GOP presidential nomination. Each and everyone of them truly deserve the title of “Douchebag of 2011.” Each and every one of them, but that would be too easy.

On the other side of the fence, Obama isn’t doing so hot himself, especially since he signed the NDAA act into law. Makes you wonder exactly whose side he’s on.

One strong frontrunner is Lt. John Pike, better simply known as “the pepper spraying cop.” The campus cop who causally pepper sprayed peaceful protesters in California. He’s kinda-sorta getting his already, since becoming a popular internet meme during the latter part of 2011.

In the end, the prize stays on the East Coast. The person with this dubious honor is none other than NYC Mayor Bloomberg.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. The recipient of the Douchebag of  The Year award for 2011. Congratulations.

Bad enough Bloomberg had his mayoral term limits extended; so when he was part of the NY Occupy eviction, he looked like a hypocrite. It wasn’t just the Occupy incident though. He was consistent all throughout 2011. Starting with the snow blizzard in the beginning of January 2011. You would think as a businessman, he would know better than not to be more prepared for a NYC winter storm. Anyone who has grown up in New York City can tell you, sometimes its winters can be pretty harsh. Yet, Bloomberg was out of town during this snowstorm, and therefore was severely under-prepared for the Dec. 2010 – Jan. 2011 blizzard. The result of his oversight didn’t affect most of Manhattan as much, but when it came to the outer boroughs, he failed. Passengers traveling on public MTA transportation was stranded for hours, as local buses broke down. In some cases, right in front of some people’s houses. Neighborhoods in Brooklyn, Queens and other areas weren’t plowed – in some cases, one or two weeks later. Bloomberg successfully managed to do what many others couldn’t….had NYC temporary shut down.

Bloomberg tried to make up for his winter fiasco by over hyping Hurricane Irene. Okay, I’m not saying Irene wasn’t dangerous, but it barely passed through NYC. Instead it had more of an impact in the more suburban and rural areas such as Long Island, Upstate New York, Massachusetts. Hey, at least the local supermarkets made a profit.

During the Irene press conferences, Bloomberg tried to not only warn city residents in English, but in Spanish as well. Normally, not a problem but he mangled the Spanish language pretty bad. He just should’ve hired a professional translator instead. It’s not like he didn’t have the funds. Besides, people needs jobs, don’t they? No comprendo.

When I was doing a bit of research for this blog post, I discovered this little fact; Mayor Bloomberg wasn’t even born in NYC, nor was he raised here. Bloomberg was born in Boston, Massachusetts, and grew up in the surrounding suburban areas.

Without further ado…here’s the Douchebag Of The Year for 2011, going to Michael Rubens Buttberg, er, I meant Bloomberg. Congratulations, Mike. Not only did you earn it, you deserve it.

Douchebag of The Year Award.

Douchebag Of The Year For 2010.

Happy New Year everyone! Today it’s January 1st, 2011. 1/1/11. One means new beginnings , and eleven being the number of magick. Not a bad way to start, huh?

Wish I would’ve done this sooner, but didn’t have a chance to do this blog post until now. Introducing the Douchebag of the year for 2010!

2010 was a banner year for douchebags, no question about it. In fact, it’s kinda hard to narrow it down. We started off with Tiger Woods and it just rose from there. Jesse James, Mel Gibson, Sarah Palin, Christine O’ Donnell, Charlie Sheen…and the list goes on. Not all douches were public figures, but just as douchey. English woman Mary Bale got her 15 minutes of douchebaggery by dumping a cat into a trash bin. “It was just a cat” was what she said. Therefore it’s only fair that we can shrug her off as just another douche. The Tea Bag party is still going strong with their douchebadges.

Kinda want to keep this short, so here goes…the Douchebag Of The Year award goes to…Jersey Shore!

The Douchebag Collective, otherwise known as The Jersey Shore cast.  Winners of the 2010 Douchebag of the year award.

This  Douchebag Collective, known as the cast of the reality show “Jersey Show.” Guidos aren’t exactly my thing. Can’t wait for the day when they all fade into much needed obscurity.

…And The Douche Award For 2009 Goes To

Thankfully 2009 is over. However, before 2010 gets into full swing, I’d like to present a little something. The award looks a little something like this:

Now 2009 had plenty of candidates in the running. I mean, just so many choices! Let’s list a few, shall we?

* Christian Bale. The Dark Knight actor berates someone from the film crew.

* Octomom. She who unfortunately managed to make childbirth seem repulsive. (Sidenote: Why is it many people who are unfit to be parents, end up becoming one themselves? One of the great tragedies of life.)

* Those wacky Gosselins. Just get divorced already and die. Especially Jon.

* VH1. Anyone that was ever on a VH1 reality show. This year, or any year for that matter. Contestants that you wouldn’t dare take home to mom. One contestant (from the thankfully aborted “Megan Wants A Millionaire”) even went so far to kill his newly married wife. The wife was chopped up so bad, the body could only be identified by her silicone breast implants. Somehow these shows managed to turn a music channel into “the douchebag channel.”

* Teabaggers. The most uninformed, ignorant bunch of politically conservative….DOUCHEBAGS!

Hate to break the news to these rather proud ‘teabaggers’…but the slang of ‘teabag’ or rather ‘teabagging’ also means something else.

Uh huh…say no more.

Now the Teabaggers almost grabbed this highly coverted award…but then on Sep 13, 2009 this happened:

Not that I give two shits about Taylor Swift’s dire country crap. But still…
Kanye West was always an ass to begin with. After his Hennessey fueled stunt on the VMAs…he became my top pop culture villain of 2009.

I’ve stopped watching the VMAs a long time ago. How I found out about the fiasco was through, of course, the internet. Told the boyfriend to switch over to MTV and there it was.

In the world of douchebaggery, this was brilliant. And when he capped off his interruption with a shrug the Douche Award was his. Obama gave his own presidential seal with a quick off the record remark:

“He’s a jackass.”

So while the Teabaggers had ignorance on their side, Kanye West won with unintentional comic relief. So Kanye, this one’s for you.