Over the weekend at The Cobra Club, my friend Dawn suggested checking out the 16th Annual Mr. L.E.S. Pageant. With that she thought our mutual friend Chad would be perfect for the contest.
So yesterday, I texted Dawn about whether or not Chad was still interested in doing the pageant. Particularly since yesterday’s temperatures were going down to a freezing nine degrees. A few more texts between us three, and suddenly plans were in place. Chad threw on my black sequined tank top and black mini-skirt. Dawn went to a local 99 cents store to grab cheap thigh high stockings. Chad’s contribution, besides the insanity, was a thong fashioned out of a belly dancing belt. I had brought along my silver star platform shoes purchased back in the late ’90s, but unfortunately the heels were too small for Chad’s feet. Since we had to get to the church on time, I applied Chad’s makeup while riding the subway to Brooklyn.
Wait…Brooklyn you ask? But doesn’t L.E.S. mean the Lower East Side, as in the borough of Manhattan? Technically yes. What happened was, the event was originally slated for Jan. 31st over at the Cakeshop, but due to certain difficulties, it ended up rescheduled and moved to the Lucky 13 bar in Gowanus, Brooklyn. That’s how sterile Manhattan has become. In fact, that’s seems to be the case all over NYC, thanks to the plague of hyper-gentrification.
Anyway, we finally arrived at on location. Whether or not last year’s winner, Matthew Silver was there, we don’t know since we were late. Luckily we managed to get Chad on stage, and he was the last contestant to strut his stuff.
Lucky 13 was packed full of drunken revelry. The rowdy audience heckled in between chants of “BALLS!”
This year’s winner of the Mr. L.E.S. title was Claude Debris. He was some skinny guy with a tight hounds-tooth suit and a French accent who calls his mother every week, like a good son should. He even made sure computer towers were attached to his testicles.
WARNING…THE BELOW VIDEO IS NSFW.
The rest of the winners were:
Mr. Congeniality – Brer Brian
Mr. GowANUS – Johnny Bizarre
Mr. Tribeca – Fritz Donnelly
It was a great night. The only fall-out was I got really sick of seeing penis everywhere. It did inspire this sketch featuring my old (self-published) comic book character, Psycho Bunny. So I created this:
Online post-coverage of the night’s events:
Update: Forgot to mention that the hostess was NYC’s own Rev. Jen.
WitchesBrewPress's Blog 